Good morning another day of impending doom I’ve been up since 1:30 & woke up with nightsweats & anxiety has peaked, managed to get back to sleep and have a lye in, ( which is rare). Having respite from mum today and a day to myself. Much as it sounds like the suicide ideation has…

Good morning , its another day of what’s going on in me head & the hell of getting closer to UC migration. I am on my own today, and a wee day off from looking after mum & seeing alfie the dog ( i will take alfie out later though). I can’t shake the anxiety…

Hi me again gracing you all, on this boxing day. Yesterday on Christmas day was good i spent all day & evening with mum. It took my mind of the shitty UC migration for a bit. Maybe im masking to be honest. Anyway this morning popped down mums & took alfie for his walk, than…

Hi me again I try not to make this a shit post ( as its Christmas day) Much as me and mum are not in the mood for celebrating Christmas. We making the most of it. Memories and all before her pre op. As for myself , the suicide ideation just gets worse day by…

Hi its part 2 , went with mother to her appointments at the hospital ready for her pre op for 7th January.Many nurses / consultant the latter. I’ve been worried about her and myself ( me dwp uc migration & also mums cancer. And being the backbone and support she needs. Its  tough out there.…

Hi everyone I am using this blog as digital evidence against dwp should anything happen to me. * i hope not) I maybe tempted back to drink or suicide ideation as UC migration gets closer, i am logging video evidence on yt , its a trigger warning i be in tears and at my worse…

I am venting & thinking out loud, call it a diary of suicide ideation being worse off , scared of being homeless and all the other shit that comes with barbaric & inhumane broken system of dwp As an AuDHDer & many mh & physical health. Also mum being diagnosed with cancer on 2nd December…