So I’m just going to on with this one straight of the bat.

My anxiety is been quite high, due to worry of what the world will be like when everything will open up again , already having change in routine in March, its not easy for us folk on the spectrum. I totally understand covid 19 . And why this had to happen.

But it be another change in our routine yet again. Due to how the way we shop . Ie like me having tattoos/ getting my hair done . Having a coffee . Its actually so scary. Because of this change . It’s a dystopian world . Nothing will ever get back to normal . Nothing will ever be the same again . From how we meet people to how we get our hair done. And if your like me and other on the spectrum who also have more than asd. Like anxiety ptsd . A whole range. Its terrifying .. I don’t go to supermarkets as it is . Unless it really quite.

Yes things have been put in place for our safety and thats great wonderful. But for us it like erm hello. What the fook . Truth be told I’ve been putting of having my 2nd session tattoo because of the new things that will happen. That’s not me being stubborn or just fuck it attitude.. it’s being on the spectrum and when your used to walking in sitting down getting a tattoo or whatever you want. It be a whole new concept.

I’m not good with change and I hate it. Even when march was lockdown . I had the biggest meltdown on top of anxiety and PTSD. And I go though trauma most days. I don’t know what to expect for when my hair appointments comes either .

We live and breath routine. I love routine and doing the same thing . Eating the same thing . Working out 5 x a week doing the same thing.

Our brains can process this and its wonderful. But if its different its like an electric shock. And we hate it.

The last 10 weeks my life has changed on a good way due to lockdown too . It’s not all been bad . I’ve saved money been living out of fruit and veg boxes and making my own meals. For the week.. I’ve made a 5x a week workout plan. And I’m loving it. I’ve saved some money. I’ve been doing my Irish citizenship though lockdown.

Bad things . If you follow / read ma blog . I was isolated before . And now very isolated. I miss my pal sally I’ve not seen or heard from her . I get lass is busy with work and new bf. But I’ve always been crap at communication. I don’t know what to say. How to come across. Or I’m just selective mutism and I don’t talk to anyone. For me a text can be scary. Even replying on social media I have to sit and think about it or . Erase it 20 times and start again. I’m totally shit at saying hi.

Sally if your reading this blog . Message me .. I miss you and so do the cats .

Also a 4 weeks ago I jump on spotify and I find motovation speeches and its really got me though. I listen everyday on my workouts. And walking. I would recommend it to anyone.

Anyway I leave this here

Take care 🖤